Dear quarter lives,
It is always hardest on the first day. It is always easiest too. It is a matter of Expectation. And it is always on the first day that Expectation is most deceiving. It arrives prepared with a map to an outcome illuding us into trusting it, into trusting that Expectation knows the way; that it will take us to where it said it would. But little do we know, especially on the first day. We are scared, so we follow. We forget that we have our own map imprinted inside of us, so we trust another. We cannot seem to access our inner voice, so we deem it inexistent. And suddenly, and so effortlessly, we find ourselves trapped in a room of Expectation without a door in sight, trapped to stay, trapped to be disappointed. And we soon realise, that it is only the first day, and somehow that makes it a little easier because we still have Time on our side. So confronted with Expectation and aided by Time, it is always hardest and easiest on the first day.
And it is on the first day, too, trapped in a room of Expectation and sheltered by a ceiling of Time, that we realise there is very little we can do. We realise that all we can do is be still and do nothing. And that, too, is always hardest and easiest on the first day. And it is then that we realise, too, that someone else is in the driving seat, and that we are in fact just observers to this journey narrating a story created by someone else. And like all observers and all narrators, we cannot control what happens. We can only watch it happen and tell the story from our perspective. All we can really control is how we observe. And then a day will come when the driver will arrive at a crossroads and ask, “Which road should we take?”, to remind you of the map you seem to have forgotten inside. And it is then that we must consult our innermost selves and listen carefully for the directions advised by our inner voice. And to be able to choose wisely, dear quarter lives, one must learn to listen well. We need not choose often. We need not act often, but we must listen always. And listening, too, is always hardest and easiest on the first day.
It is always the first day.