Dear quarter lives,
This is a kind reminder that we in fact never grow out of our childhood. We mature in voice, we grow new teeth, but we do not grow new primary experiences of life. Perhaps this is why childhood remains a significant part of our memories and our present-day reactions to the world. It is how we first received the world, how we were first welcomed by it or terrified by it, it is our introduction into life, and so as all first impressions, it counts a great deal.
Remorse, do not have for your child self. It is an emotion laced with guilt. Steer away from guilt, for it is one laced in fear. And fear is laced in darkness, so do not scare your children, they are still alive and care not for your guilt but would much rather be held out in the light – the bright light of love. It is there that all children thrive, it is there that they would like to live, so take them to love and away from the pains of nostalgia, away from all the memories that happened and the ones that never did. It is dangerous to live in a past that no longer is, a past that cannot be changed but one that hopes so badly it could. A past cannot be different than what it was. It cannot be anything except what it is. As adults with children in pain living inside of us, we fall into this trap when we remember the past, we cannot accept it for what it was, and in turn reject the present for what it is, in hopes to move to a future that cannot be. But what we fail to realise is that when we reject our past, we reject our child self too along with it, we reject their truth, we refuse to recognise them for who they really are. It is us you see that inflict pain on our child selves, it is our rejection that leaves them feeling ashamed, it is our abandonment that leaves them feeling like they are alone in this world. But children you see are most forgiving so let them teach you how to forgive them. They will embrace you with all the love they have if you just allow them to. They too can guide you back to yourself, but only if you trust them. And trust the children we must.
Children are seekers of the light, they are drawn to love and always move towards it so have faith that your child knows the way, they might be your only way back home. Do not burden yourself O adult with the hows, whys and what ifs. Let go of your need to lead the way. Let go of the idea that the adult is supposed to know the way. It is often our inner children that are best suited for leading these journeys. Our adult beings are too tainted by a material reality they have come to believe is real, so they cannot walk past it, they cannot let it go. And to go back home one must be prepared to let go of many attachments including that with reality herself. We must walk through reality, not become it. Unfortunately, most adults have become the reality they have lived in for so long, they have become the identities and labels they were given only as glasses to experience the world through, but instead these glasses stayed on their faces for too long, and they forgot they were even wearing them. Now confused that their glasses are their eyes, they are so afraid to let go of them because they think they are sacrificing their eyes.
If one is to return to being the camera man rather than the camera itself, one needs to reconnect to their child self to find that faith again to trust. Trust allows us to hand over our reigns of control. To give in our power. Trust allows us to accept our lack of knowledge. And who better to teach us about trust and navigating through the unknown than children who are born to people they know nothing of yet they trust these people with all their hearts to love them and keep them safe. So dearest quarter lives, reconnect with your child selves, it might be the most valuable thing you do for yourself. And remember it is like approaching any child, you must smile, be kind and ready to play a little.